Surrounded by Darkness...I can no longer catch my breath

Life as I know it is damp and cold
It is hard to catch my breath
For I feel that I have lost my soul, my will
To live or to die is not a question of faith
But a choice that will ultimately change everything that could be
As I fall to the depths of the ocean
I struggle to find what is left inside myself
Not knowing which way is up
Not knowing if I have the strength to go on
Feeling alone and afraid as I hide from the world that surrounds me
Not wanting to be seen as tears trickle down my checks
I make believe that nothing is wrong until I'm crying
Trying to imagine my life without you being a part of it
I know that I cannot go on
Seeing you so happy makes me feel so hurt and angry
Seeing you unhappy makes me hurt and angry
I am an emotional roller coaster
Having no way of knowing when I will be up or when I will be down
Questioning all and trusting nothing
As I surrender myself to darkness
I rediscover my true happiness 

I can now catch my breath no longer feeling lost