Beautiful Disaster
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Love Broken
Why would I think that with me anything would be different? How dumb I must be to think that there wouldn't be a side girl like I once was. I know better than all this and yet here I am in the same spot that she was in not that long ago.
It's so hard to let go of the disappointment ...
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Understand Me
Have you sat and tried to understand how I feel? Do you care about how I feel ever, what goes on in my head and my heart. You have put me through so much emotional bullshit that I'm afraid to get close to you. I'm scared to death of not being able to survive; with or without you. The things that I have had to deal with, had to go through. I have felt so alone and unwanted, feeling forgotten and abandoned and then having to deal with being locked away for awhile. You have made me forget who I am, made me dependent on you and not myself. However recent events have shown me that I am still alive inside me somewhere I just need to dig deep inside me. I have found little piece of who I am peaking through. Since you have been gone things have changed, I have changed. You have forced me to change my way of thinking, not everyone thinks and feels like I do, I have come to realize the cold hard truth. I don't believe that people ever truly want to shut the world out but it's our nature too these days...I'm just do dam tired of bring the only one with an open mind and not a close narrow one. You tell me one thing and yet didn't really mean any of it, why waste the breaths that you breath?
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
I feel us drifting more apart as the days go on...my heart is slowly stopping it's beat. I don't know where to turn these days, I don't feel that I can turn to you. That makes me sad, that I feel this way. The love that we once shared is gone, maybe the question I should be asking myself is "was the love ever really there"? I want to believe that once upon a time there was more love than I could ask for but today I don't think I could say that. It doesn't make much sense I know, to me especially. I feel like im on a downward spiral to my death in so many ways. How can I find my way back to a time that I was happy, to a time when I could trust in you not to hurt me. A time when the game wasn't who could hurt who the most and the quickest. I hate how my life has turned out this is not how I planned to live my life. I blame myself for being where im at today, no one but me allowed this shit to happen. But your not off the hook, I do blame you for a small part; which part im not sure of...but I know that i miss you and I wish I didn't...